Diversity is the driving force behind much of today’s leading innovation and technology. Industry titans and leaders know this, and they hire people from all walks of life to help them stay relevant and cutting-edge.
DEI initiatives provide an excellent foundation for building an inclusive workplace that welcomes everyone regardless of race, gender identity, age, or sexual orientation.
This piece is dedicated to gender identity: why it’s essential, the challenges some face with implementation, and everything you and your team need to know about proper pronoun usage.
Why Pronouns Matter
Using pronouns is a way to acknowledge another person’s identity and address them accordingly. Just as you refer to someone by their correct name, you also want to make sure you address them using the correct pronoun.
Ultimately, it’s a sign of respect.
Being open and receptive to each individual’s personal pronouns leads to a positive and inclusive work environment. People feel free to be themselves, and are able to let their guard down without fearing discrimination.
The importance of this is obvious: it improves morale and creates a sense of belonging, which is a key aspect of high-quality teamwork.
For those who still feel uncertain or confused about pronouns, one of the most important things to remember is that this is about inclusion.
Those who are hesitant or skeptical don’t have to change anything about themselves or do anything other than accept people for who they are.
Regardless of how people feel about their identity, they must understand that we are not all the same. As humans, we all have very different experiences.
Another reason to be mindful of pronouns is that they reduce the likelihood of a discrimination-related lawsuit.
Finally, being dismissive about someone else’s identity is not just disrespectful; it’s irresponsible. It can cost a company financially, and ultimately may result in causing irreparable damage to their reputation.
Common Gender Non-Conforming & Nonbinary Pronouns (And Other Definitions)
While the majority of people still use the pronouns she/her/hers or he/him/his, roughly 1.6% of American adults identify as non-binary or transgender people. Additionally, around 5% of individuals under 30 years of age find their gender to be different from the one assigned to them at birth, according to a 2022 study.
Gender identity occurs on a spectrum; thus, no fixed number exists to reference the exact number of gender identities that currently exist.
However, there are a few that are quite common, and many people feel aligned with their nonbinary and fluid definition. They are as follows:
- They/Them
- Ze/Zir
- Ze/Hir
- E/Em
These non-gendered or nonbinary pronouns are used by people who see themselves defined by something outside the limits of the gender binary, aka “he” or “she.”
It’s interesting to note that many current languages do not use gendered pronouns. It’s only recently that the English language expanded to offer additional pronouns suitable for nonbinary individuals to express their identities accurately.
Here are some other terms commonly used to describe pronouns and their definitions:
- Gender fluid — This usually means nonbinary, describing someone who doesn’t have a fixed gender identity. Rather, theirs is flexible — it may change over time.
- Genderqueer —This is a term used for someone whose gender differs from the gender binary.
- Cisgender — Cisgender people are people whose gender identity is congruent with the gender they were assigned at birth.
Challenges Implementing Pronoun Protocols
Often, there are difficulties associated with change or when trying to create something new. Pronouns can especially be met with some resistance.
Here are some ways this can manifest and what you can do to mitigate these issues, should they arise.
How Different Generations View Pronouns
Gen Zers and Millennials are both pretty familiar with gender non-conforming pronouns. In fact, Gen Z is more likely than the other generations to know someone who uses alternative pronouns.
Older generations may have a more challenging time grasping the concept.
It’s important to be clear that it’s okay to ask questions — cisgender people may not understand the concept fully. Because this has only recently been addressed by the mainstream, it’s natural that some people have questions.
However, it must be made abundantly clear that dismissing the topic is not okay because to do so minimizes or trivializes someone else’s very real experience. Additionally, derogatory comments about the subject should never be tolerated.
Combating Resistance to Non-Conforming or Gender-Neutral Pronouns
Trouble understanding pronouns is not limited to older generations. Some people, regardless of age, may resist the concept.
Usually, resistance is a fear-based response (humans are wired to “fear” or be wary of things that seem different). This stems from the individual’s lack of prior real-life exposure to someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns.
In most cases, this can be mitigated through education. For example, hearing about someone’s experience firsthand can be quite powerful.
If you have team members who use gender-neutral pronouns, don’t make them the spokespeople for the issue. Instead, look for groups that offer DEI training and cover this topic in depth.
The biggest thing to remember and remind people of who show skepticism is, this has nothing to do with them. They don’t have to change a thing about themselves or how they identify.
Rather, it’s about other people. It’s about learning to open their hearts and minds to make room for those who have different life experiences and be respectful of the fact that we’re not all the same.
If you believe your team members could use a little more education on this topic, it’s worth hiring an expert to conduct training on the matter.
In addition to that, here are some other tactics you can use to soften the resistance and remind everyone about the importance of an inclusive workplace:
- Explain the concept of pronouns using relatable examples.
- Have someone share their personal experience if they desire.
- Provide a glossary defining various personal gender pronouns and terms.
- Emphasize that employees don’t need to change or even lead with their personal gender pronouns if it makes them uncomfortable.
- Respect employee concerns as long as they aren’t disrespectful to others.
- Create a space where the topic can be discussed openly and respectfully.
- Ensure HR professionals have the proper training in all areas related to DEI.
It’s crucial to emphasize that regardless of gender identity, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion, as a team, you all have the same aspirations worthy of celebration.
Indeed, how incredible is it to have a diverse group of individuals working together, accomplishing all sorts of goals?
Best Practices
Most people cringe at the mere thought of offending someone else. This section covers best practices — including ways to avoid accidentally misgendering or making someone feel marginalized — when navigating pronouns in the workplace.
Normalize Pronoun Usage
One way of normalizing pronoun usage is to do so verbally.
For example:
- During a meeting you’re facilitating, you could open by saying, “Hi, my name is (your name), and my pronouns are (your pronouns).”
- Add your pronouns after your name on a Zoom call.
- If you’re meeting in person, write them on your name tag.
- Include yours in your email signature.
Let your employees know that these are all options, and anyone who would like to participate may do so, if they haven’t already.
Realize That Pronouns Aren’t a Preference
One critical thing that many people unknowingly do is refer to their pronouns as preferred pronouns.
Just like you’d never ask someone what their preferred name is (you’d always accept their name as their name), it’s equally important not to ask someone what their preferred pronouns are.
Their pronouns aren’t a preference; they’re not up for debate. Their pronouns are what they are.
Respect The Choice Made By People Who Aren’t Comfortable With The Concept
You may have co-workers who aren’t comfortable sharing their pronouns or feel awkward about mentioning them in regular conversation.
It’s important to respect this. Don’t force people who aren’t comfortable sharing their pronouns (for whatever reason) to share them. If they don’t want to participate, it’s their right, and that should be respected.
Just be clear —again— any disrespect or discrimination will not be tolerated.
Learn How to Address Someone When You’re Unsure of Their Pronouns
Rule number one of pronouns is, never assume.
Just because someone “looks” as though they could be defined by a specific binary gender pronoun does not mean that’s how they identify.
The easiest way to make the mistake of referring to someone by the wrong pronoun is to assume.
When meeting for the first time, one way to learn someone’s pronouns is to share your own pronouns when introducing yourself. Usually, the other person will reciprocate. If they don’t, you can always say something like, “How may I address you?”
If you need to address someone before introductions are made, you can refer to them by their name (Here’s where name tags come in handy.) or refer to the person as “them.”
If you have time, you can always check someone’s social media or LinkedIn profile since many people use those sites to display their pronouns.
Be Vocal About Why Correct Pronouns Matter
For those revamping their standard operating procedures to create a more inclusive company culture, it’s important to speak up about pronoun use and why inclusive pronouns matter.
This is just like speaking up about other essential aspects of DEI, like companies embracing ethnic diversity by partnering with Obsidi®, the largest network of Black professionals in tech.