picture: Archive Manon Meijer
Manon Meijer has lived and labored her whole lifestyles within the Netherlands. That adjustments when her mom, Silvia Marsera, born in Rincon, develops dementia. Meijer makes the life-altering determination to shed at the back of the lifestyles she is aware of and progress to Bonaire together with her mom. “People with dementia want to return to their island,” she explains. On her mom’s birthplace, Meijer faces the 5 toughest years of her lifestyles hour giving her mom the most productive imaginable ultimate years.
“After my father passed away, my mother began showing the first signs of dementia alongside her grief,” Meijer starts. To start with, her mom strikes into an assisted residing condominium, the place aid is near via. However her mom’s status worsens, and she or he begins reminiscing extra regularly about her formative years. Meijer comes to a decision to progress to Bonaire with and for her mom. “The care in the Netherlands may be very good, but there’s nothing like growing old in a familiar environment.”
Proper progress
The go to Bonaire is grueling; at the aircraft, her mom turns into totally unresponsive because of tension. “Great start,” Meijer thinks. However when they begin on the people house in Kralendijk, it temporarily turns into cloudless that they made the proper progress. “She felt so at ease there; it was really her home.” At that day, her mom used to be nonetheless cell and talkative. “I talked to her a lot, gave her newspapers to read. I took her everywhere with me, but I could also leave her alone for a while without any problems.”
Two years nearest, Meijer returns in brief to the Netherlands – her first day clear of her mom. She leaves her mom’s aid within the hand of others. Then again, this unearths in essentially the most dramatic method how an important the non-public consideration is. “She suddenly deteriorated completely.” Her mom may now not proceed or discuss. “The vacation feeling disappeared quickly.” Nearest her go back to Bonaire, her mom began to strengthen slowly once more, however used to be by no means the similar. Taking good care of her turns into increasingly more not easy.
Channels
“There is help available, but it’s hard to find. You have to know about all sorts of channels. There isn’t a clear resource for caregivers that lists all the support options clearly, indicating where to get them. How is it possible that I only learned about the existence of a Caregiver Foundation after my mom passed away?” Meijer wonders.
Photograph: Manon Meijer
“The last six months, I really couldn’t handle it anymore; it became so overwhelming,” she recollects. Meijer advises somebody who needs to turn out to be a nanny to form a listing in exit of family who can aid when issues get difficult. “When you suddenly become a caregiver, you don’t know what you’re getting into—and maybe that’s a good thing. But once you’re in it, it’s too late to start looking for help. You’re just trying to survive.”
‘Call me’
Being a long way from house, Meijer didn’t have buddies or people round to help her throughout her caregiving go. “My mother’s sister was the only one who said, ‘Manon, you can always call me,’” she stocks with gratitude. “That makes all the difference.”
Terminating generation at Pentecost, the surviving ended when Meijer’s mom kicked the bucket. Most effective nearest may Meijer mirror on that length. “Caregiving changed me as a person,” she says filled with conviction. “I now actively seek out positivity. I do things that make me happy and practice gratitude.” She feels extremely sturdy, mentally. “Caregiving is the hardest job in the world. If you’ve survived that, you can handle anything.”
Tales, area, eco-resort
Lately, Meijer makes use of her power and revel in to recommend for caregivers and help them. She is operating on a keep that includes tales of caregivers and has based De Huiskamer (“The Living Room”), an internet area for caregivers. Meijer believes popularity for caregivers’ paintings is particularly impressive. “We do incredibly important work. If we weren’t here, what would happen? The people who need care would suffer, or they’d be much less happy in nursing homes. I think our society would become harder, harsher, and more difficult. Plus, we save the government a lot of money.”
Meijer now lives on the people house within the kunuku alike Rincon. “I didn’t know what I was getting into, but luckily, I fit well with Bonaire. I love the tranquility.” She these days works in training, however her dream is to begin an eco-resort for overworked caregivers on her detail. “That way, they can take a break and, for a change, be the ones cared for.”