Readings help us acknowledge reality and move toward the pain of the loss.
Including readings helps those attending the funeral to acknowledge the reality of the death and to move toward the pain of the loss.
- Religious funeral ceremonies typically contain a number of standard readings from the faith’s literature.
- Both religious and secular ceremonies may also allow time for readings that represent the person who died.
- Readings can be selected that capture the unique life and philosophies of the person who died.
- It is completely appropriate to inject humor if it is a true reflection of your loved one.
Memories are the most precious legacy we have after someone we love dies.
Memories are the most precious legacy we have after someone we love dies. Your family can choose to provide opportunities for memory-sharing beyond the eulogy. As we all realize, not everyone feels comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. Through memories, those who have died continue to live on in us.
Be sure to talk to your funeral director about ways of sharing memories at the funeral. Some creative alternatives include:
Memory Baskets
Provide a time and place during the visitation or the funeral service where people can write down memories on paper and place them in a memory basket. Some of these memories can be read during the eulogy or tacked on a board for others to read.
Memory DVDs
Some funeral homes offer memory DVDs that incorporate visual images with music. There are a growing number of companies that can offer this service, including websites that guide you through the process of developing your own video. Ask your funeral director for details.
Memory Letters
Some friends and family members may want to write a personal letter to the person who died. These letters can then be sealed and placed in the casket or displayed near the casket for other mourners to read.
Memory Tables or Memory Boards
Many funeral homes make available tables or boards for families to display memorabilia and photos. If the person who died had a favorite hobby, consider setting up a display that represents this (e.g. model trains, photos of her garden, fishing tackle). Physical objects that link mourners to the person who died can be displayed too (e.g. special articles of clothing, favorite toys for a child). You could also set out family photo albums and framed pictures. Memory tables give mourners a good place to gather and share memories of the person who died.
Recording the Service
Many funeral homes have equipment to videotape and/or audiotape funeral ceremonies. More and more families are finding that capturing the funeral for posterity allows them to replay it later in their grief journeys, when they’re not so overwhelmed and exhausted. The recording often becomes a cherished family keepsake. It can also be duplicated for friends and family who are not able to attend the service.
