Six reasons we give up on our dreams — and how to reclaim them

Editor’s Note: This book excerpt has been lightly edited and condensed.

I believe that our lives will shrink or expand in direct proportion to the level of courage we possess. Staying in a space we have outgrown reduces our quality of living. Why be a prisoner to fear when we can live in freedom?

That’s why I created Hollywood Confidential, a destination for dreamers who want to move into action. When it comes to pursuing our dreams, we are oftentimes plagued by fear, which we mask as excuses. Sometimes we even have a fear of success itself. Instead of giving into fear, what if we chose love, by choosing ourselves? What if we all went after our dreams, boldly, and without reservation?

To the unfulfilled housewife, high school student, overwhelmed single mother, or the newly married husband trying his hand at building a legacy, I ask you, What was your dream? No, really, close your eyes, and return to that childlike state where you could be and do anything. Before life became all too real, full of challenges and obstacles. What did you want to be, and what stopped you from following your dream? Today is the day that you start to reclaim your dream. 

In sitting down with so many young dreamers over the last decade, many of whom gave up just before realizing their dreams, I began to notice a few themes or deterrents that held them back from fully pursuing the lives they wanted to live, and I wanted to share them with you.

lives they wanted to live, and I wanted to share them with you. 

Fear of Failure

When we utilize logic to make decisions that don’t force us to rely on courage, those decisions are often rooted in fear, requiring minimal risk and producing minimal results. Of course, none of us want to fail. But no person who has achieved greatness did so without challenges, roadblocks, and bouts of extreme failure along the way. We must have the courage to take the first step, believing that when we do, the path will be made clear.

Fear of Change 

…Many choose to move through life empty and unfulfilled, which can be directly attributed to fear of change. It’s easier to live within the shadows of mediocrity than to risk going after a dream that seems bigger than you. We must learn to embrace and transform our fears, repurposing them as fuel in the tank of progress and change. 

Priorities

The prioritization of our dreams is key to becoming the star of our own lives. Yes, we all have responsibilities. However, the deprioritization of our purpose—to cater to the needs of everyone else—is a slippery slope that ends in unfulfillment. I’m in no way asking you to be selfish, but I am asking you to get comfortable with placing your dreams first, casting yourself as the lead role within your story, to ensure the best possible conclusion before the final credits of your life role.

Lack of Confidence

Placing yourself on the center stage within the spotlight takes absolute bravery and courage. It can be intimidating and cause you to doubt yourself, your gifts, and your abilities. Those are the times when imposter syndrome demands, “Who do you think you are to boldly go after your 

dreams?” If that’s you, allow me to remind you that you were born worthy, and inside of you resides every single thing you need to be successful. So take the risk! I’d rather you fail than live the rest of your life never knowing what would have happened if you’d only had the confidence to be courageous. 

Timing

Can I just tell you that there will never be a perfect time to go after your dream? As a matter of fact, there will never be a perfect time to go after anything. And in waiting for the perfect time, we allow life to pass us by. All we have is now, and now is in fact the best time to seize the moment and make the most out of every opportunity. 

Lack of Support

Frequently, those closest to you can unknowingly project their own fear of failure onto your dreams, serving as a deterrent to achieving your life’s true purpose. The people you know and love may not be the ones cheering the loudest for your success. Most times, your biggest expressions of support will come from perfect strangers, as many peers can’t handle the fact that you’ve decided to push past their perceived limits and societal norms to achieve greatness. And that is why it’s important to follow the compass of your own heart above the opinions, feelings, and thoughts of others—including those closest to you.

Can you relate to any of the aforementioned dream killers? If so, I have news for you: we all go through it. If you’re like most people, you probably relate courage with fearlessness, but that’s an incorrect comparison. Courage is moving forward in spite of the fear you may feel…

Being courageous allows you to take chances, pursue your dreams, and get what you want out of life. If you’ve been struggling with fear and want to feel more courageous in your life, I’m going to offer you some tips that will show you how to tap into your courage. It takes work to move beyond your fears. The more you are able to face your fears, the more you will replace your fear-based responses with courageous ones. 

Steve Jones is the author of Hollywood Confidential: 12 Secrets to Becoming the Star of Your Own Life. A sought-after speaker, mentor, and creative executive, Jones empowers readers to rewrite their narratives, reclaim their purpose, and step boldly into the spotlight of their own lives.