Newsday
Kanisa George
HAVE YOU ever told a lie, and before its venom slipped from your tongue you regretted it? I have. The very thought of being caught with my hands in the cookie jar is a thrilling feeling that makes the forbidden act all the more appealing. And I know many of you out there can relate to this.
In the days of my youth, nothing intrigued me more than those proscribed activities my mother made clear I should not engage in.
While I was not always brave to push the boundaries, I often longed to do the opposite of what I was told. And I can’t be the only person who felt/feels that way.
Curiosity can sometimes sink its claws so far into us that it pushes us to explore paths that aren’t just inherently wrong, but those we know for a fact can bring results we’ll regret. The psychology behind decision-making is a complex, mind-boggling process that we naturally know very little about.
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Sometimes we make decisions we know are inherently bad, like procrastinating or continuing to engage in an unhealthy relationship, and then regret the outcome when things come full circle.
Take procrastination, for example. We know it is terrible and can make life stressful and complicated, so why do we keep doing it?
Decision-making depends mainly on information fed to the brain and an interesting analysis that takes place thereafter. Sometimes bad decisions can emanate from being privy to wrong information or not having any information on the subject matter at all. But that’s not all.
There are times during the decision-making process when the information our brains have at their disposal isn’t based on objective, factual data.
Research on decision-making shows that our brains process a wide range of personal, experiential information – what we’ve learned from previous choices, circumstances, relationships, and other people.
Pretty much everything we’ve ever experienced plays into every single decision.
Weeding out the bad from objective and subjective information can be a faulty process, especially with cognitive biases at work. Cognitive biases are shortcuts our brains develop that help us solve problems and interpret information quickly based on patterns we’ve experienced and reinforced over time. But, as the old people say, shortcut does bruk foot, and in the case of the brain, efficiency can sometimes lead to poor judgement.
We are exposed to objective information about the negative implications of several actions like, say, infidelity or overconsumption of alcohol, yet this doesn’t stop us from engaging.
But can it also be blamed on one’s weakness of will or lack of self-control?
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The Greeks believed that we are often unwittingly plagued by “Akrasia,” a state of mind in which one acts against better judgement, often through weakness of will. Constantly finding oneself in this state is akin to self-decay, as life can quickly spin out of control while we lose our equilibrium.
Most psychologists believe that people can be trained to behave this way by forming better habits and a well-developed self-check system, which can only be actualised by recognising one’s flaws.
Beyond the psychological perspective, some believe the driving force behind engaging in behaviour that can only hurt us or has the potential to harm others is purely instinctive.
Colouring outside the lines, even in the realm of darkness, can temporarily take us away from the mundanity and agony of life. While the positive effects aren’t typically long-lasting, “deviant behaviour” arguably adds a new layer to our experience, raises the bar, and excites us.
“We long to have every need fulfilled, even as we toil and struggle endlessly searching for the things that fuel us. Human nature dictates that we will search and search until we find it, no matter the cost to ourselves or the agony it causes us, perhaps even to our own demise.”
Even in the face of experience and flashing red lights that inform us of eventual danger, we engage in behaviour, sometimes habitually, because we long for the thrill despite having full knowledge of what it will do to us.
To compensate, we rationalise our behaviour by saying, “You only live once.” Or by tricking ourselves into believing that “things will be different this time.”
Continuous use of unhealthy behaviours can quickly become coping mechanisms for avoiding emotional discomfort, especially when our actions don’t align with our inner belief system, and that can easily be a recipe for disaster. How do you address the desire to engage in unhealthy behaviour even when the outcome is looking at you dead in the eye?
In next week’s piece, we’ll explore more of what fuels unhealthy desires and steps we can take to steer our energy towards healthier, more rewarding decisions.
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