I looked back at my post from this time last year, and it was more hopeful in perspective, but as I look out my window at an overcast and gloomy day, my thoughts go in a different direction. What happens when we reflect on the past year and find only missed opportunities, disappointment, and regret? What does a person who has given their life to service do when they fail to meet their own expectations?
Honesty is still the best policy.
It is still good and helpful to be honest in our appraisals. Missionaries and ministers rarely have a hit-it-out-of-the-ballpark year full of successes in ministry. There are times when we really mess things up. It usually starts with slacking in our daily time with the Lord and in his Word. Do I look back and realize that the mess that was March was because of my failure to remain faithful in February? Looking back, I can see that now. Forgive me, Lord.
What about that missed opportunity? We all have them. I cross paths with a person who asks the right questions, seems to be open and seeking, and yet, I really didn’t have the time to talk to them in that moment. Instead of the gospel, I mutter some pleasantry and move on. The problem is, I didn’t see them again. Can I rely on someone else planting the seed that I failed to let go of? Will this affect their eternal destination? Forgive me, Lord.
Sometimes in looking back, we mourn our own apathy, laziness, and self-centeredness. I look at my spouse or colleague and long for their spirituality, energy, and productiveness. Some days I spend more time on my computer or phone than I do out in the neighborhood or city. Lostness is all around me, and I’m incapable of letting that motivate me into action. I know you’re disappointed, Lord. Forgive me.
Recognizing our fallibility reminds us who can help.
How often in the psalms, does David mourn and groan? It’s safe to say, it’s more than once. However, thankfully, he doesn’t plant roots in his despondent state. What does he do? He first shares it with the Lord. He lets it all out, no matter how depressing or ugly or painful it is. God is there to hear his cries—he’s been waiting for David to come to his senses and confess his sin and hurt.
Secondly, in turning to God in his despair, he is then able to be thankful and worship the God who protected him as a shepherd and called him as king. Because David has walked with the Lord in the days before his great ministry as a warrior and king, he has a history of God’s faithfulness to fall back on with thankfulness and praise.
The final point of the importance of turning to God is found in the fact that each of these psalms of lament and trial come to an end. David moves on. He’s let it all out and been transparent in his confession and regret. He’s been thankful and praises the Lord for his forgiveness, goodness, and presence. Then, he rolls up the scroll for that incident and presses forward in faithful service to the Lord.
Year-end self-reflection gives way to a new year of faithful service.
While this year may have its share of regrets, transgressions, and pain, we still serve the God of new mercies. Recognizing and confessing our sins and regrets is just the first step in moving forward. We serve a God who not only hears those prayers of confession but forgives them as well because Jesus Christ has paid the price for each and every one. He can turn those hurts into opportunities for growth, restoration of our yearning for his Word, and a renewed longing to see the Lost know the reason for the hope we hold.
Finding our hearts and minds cleansed in Christ leads us to thanksgiving and praise, allowing us to end our year in worship of the One who restores the years the locusts have eaten. New growth comes from the stump of rebellion and regret.
Yes, looking back can be painful, but it doesn’t have to be without hope. Let the Lord wipe the slate clean as you confess and give to him all that which has left you with a heavy burden, and look forward with anticipation of what he will continue to do in and through you in the year to come.
Grace and Peace
If you missed the last Mission Monday post, click HERE, or check out these posts about self-reflection: Just Another Day or a New Opportunity?, A Different Kind of New Year, Hope Does Not Disappoint, and Staying in Tune.