November 13, 2020
Let me preface by saying manifesting happiness in itself isn’t “bad”. In fact, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. Fuck – who wouldn’t want that?
So I don’t want to start this post out with you thinking I’m some crazy scrooge who doesn’t believe in joy. On the contrary, I love that shit.
BUT, and this is a big but, I no longer prioritise manifesting happiness. Here’s why I don’t think you should either.
Why I’m no longer manifesting happiness
Growing up there was nothing I wanted more than to be happy. Especially as I hit my early teens and witnessed not one, but several relatives pass away within a short period of time. When I became orphaned at 14 this need for constant happiness only continued to grow.
But as we know when it comes to manifesting your desires – simply WANTING to manifest happiness is not enough. In fact, for me, I went the other way. I spent a lot of time depressed and anxious. Yes, because I was suffering from emotional trauma, but also because I was chasing an unrealistic ideal.
The need for perfection became a burden. One far too great to bear. So, naturally, as a result, I crumbled. Not only, did I struggle with the feelings of anxiety and depression, but I had the added bonus of a shit tonne of guilt. I felt I was doing something wrong or that I might have been somehow defective. When in reality that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
These days I am no longer focussing on how to manifest happiness or how to manifest positivity. Instead, I focus on FULFILLMENT and in doing so I wholly embrace my humanity.
Don’t manifest happiness, manifest fulfilment
In aiming for fulfilment I’m fully aware there will be times when I’m disappointed in the way things have panned out. I know that those perfectionist tendencies of mine that lurk beneath the surface will, from time to time, rear their ugly head.
However, I have the self-awareness to know that this disappointment is part of the process. It’s just another step in the journey. One I have now chosen to welcome with open arms rather than burrowing away from in the hopes that it will just up and leave.
This acknowledgement is incredibly powerful because it creates room for HUGE growth. Though this is my guiding principle my actual goals themselves WIDELY vary.
How to manifest fulfilment
If you too want to manifest fulfilment here are three core principles to follow:
Self-awareness
Develop a keen sense of self-awareness. The way I see life does not relate to positive or negative thinking but instead focuses on my truth. You can cultivate your own sense of truth by actually getting to know yourself and understanding how you view the world.
Remember the universe doesn’t deem things as positive or negative – that is the meaning that WE humans give to things to make sense of them. The universe is impartial, however, our reality is filtered through our belief systems.
Instead, choose to operate from your truth. See both the world and yourself as they really are. When you do this you no longer feel the need to strive for unhealthy ideals like manifesting your happiness. Opt for what is of the highest good for YOU.
Self-compassion
Having self-compassion allows you to reach for new heights, whilst keeping the ego from having a total meltdown before you even have a chance to get started.
Know that you will fuck up. Accept that now and you’ll save yourself a tonne of suffering down the line. But just because you fuck up doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of manifesting success. It just means there are more avenues to explore and more options to try. Often, the same ones over and over until something finally sticks.
While we’re on the topic of self-compassion though, let me be clear that this is not an excuse to sleep on yourself and pass it off as being kind. You also need to combine this with the first principle and know when you’re trying to protect yourself rather than just doing the damn thing.
This is where having a strong intuitive connection to your higher self is KEY. Strengthen this connection with practices like meditation and journaling regularly to keep the sabotage at bay.
Self-preservation
Having strong boundaries is something that’s often overlooked when it comes to manifestation. Maybe because it doesn’t sound all that sexy. But sexy or not it is deeply important.
Of course, you’re not an island so there will be other people in your life to consider throughout your ongoing journey for fulfilment. Often you will feel tempted to loosen your boundaries or perhaps it’s something you’ve never even given any thought to up until this moment.
So let’s talk about it. Without creating strong boundaries for what you are and are not available for in life you run the risk of compromising your values. When these values are compromised it quietly reaffirms that you’re not capable of the life you truly desire, or worse still that you’re not worthy of it.
Before you begin consciously manifesting ANYTHING take the time to understand your values and ethos for life because these will be your guiding light. Once you fully acknowledge this you’ll understand just how powerful you are and how this power must be protected at all costs. This values exercise can be incredibly useful for helping you get clearer on what those values are and why it matters.
Remember if you view someone outside of you as the source of your problems you will always look outside of yourself for the answers. Take 100% responsibility for where you’re at right now, and take comfort in the fact you also have that same responsibility for where you’ve yet to go.
How to apply these principles to manifestation
These principles have propelled me from feeling lost and uncertain to where I am now. In this space, I know that I am already fulfilled and am only inviting more of that deliciousness into my life. Because of this I feel self-assured, confident and have a deep sense of clarity around what I want to manifest going forward. And I want that for you too.
If you’d like to learn more about how to actually put these principles into practice and how to consistently manifest from a place of truth I invite you to join me in The Manifest Edit 1:1 Mentorship programme. It’s my signature programme dedicated to teaching ambitious women how to manifest an extraordinary life. A life where success is the norm and manifesting your desires becomes effortless.
Learn more and apply for The Manifest Edit 1:1 Mentorship here.