Social Media, Earlier Puberty: How Parents Can Keep Up with Changing Environments

Declining confidence is common with all genders during puberty, according to Jane Mendle, an associate professor of psychology at Cornell University. Mendle, who studies the effects that puberty has on the mental health of adolescents, particularly girls, also said that girls have steeper declines in self-esteem during puberty.

Defining Puberty

Puberty is not as easily defined as most might think, and on average, it’s about a four year process.

“Puberty is transformative and it involves change across virtually every domain of life,” said Mendle. Although puberty markers for girls often begin with physical changes and end with menarche – the first menstrual cycle – there are also major changes in behavior, emotions and social relationships, she continued.

Girls who go through puberty earlier than their peers are at an increased risk for mental health issues and, on average, girls are starting puberty earlier than they had in previous decades. It’s not uncommon now for the first stages of puberty to begin at age 9 and for the later stages of puberty to begin just under 12 years old.

“It would not be an exaggeration to say that the average timing of puberty now looks like what we were talking about early pubertal timing in, say, the 1970s or early 80s,” she said.

One of the reasons why earlier puberty can be difficult is because “physical development, cognitive development and emotional development don’t necessarily occur in synchrony,” said Mendle. “When any child begins to exhibit obvious signs of physical development, they’re going to find their world changing. They’re going to be treated differently by other people, and they tend to be granted more autonomy,” said Mendle.

Because puberty involves significant social changes, girls who go through puberty earlier “may find it difficult to keep up friendships with friends who haven’t developed at similar rates,” said Mendle. “Even though puberty is defined by its biological features, I think of it as a fundamentally social transition and the context in which kids experience it is really formative for how it unfolds,” she continued.

Puberty and Social Media 

Young people now are increasingly tech savvy, and have more access to digital technologies compared to generations prior. In the past, young girls curious about puberty and the changes that accompany it might have gone to their mother or an older sister for advice, said Mendle, but now they might be more interested in TikTok and period tracking apps.

In addition to decreased confidence, the youngest group surveyed by ROX also saw the largest increase in social media use. In the 2023 report, 95% of 5th and 6th grade girls surveyed said that they use social media, and 46% of those who use social media spent more than six hours per day on those platforms — compared to only 9% in 2017. Other surveys of teen social media use demonstrate similar levels of use.

According to the ROX 2023 Girls’ Index, social media use negatively impacts girls’ confidence, quality of sleep and ability to focus in school.

Despite these strong correlations between increased social media use in adolescent girls and decreased confidence, Hinkelman said that it’s important to remember that this does not imply causation. “I do think that [social media] can amplify some of the existing challenges that are happening more for girls,” she said.

Hinkelman noted that because puberty and access to information and technology is happening earlier, ROX is seeing challenges that have historically affected girls at an older age affecting girls younger and younger. “It’s kind of like they’re getting older, younger,” she said.

Impact in Schools

The effects of girls’ declining mental health and increased social media use factors into a post-pandemic educational landscape that puts strain on educators, said Hinkelman.

Chelsea Tabor, a school counselor, said that her students are hyper aware of the permanence of their online footprint. While they rely on social media to connect with friends and maintain relationships, they are also worried about conflict because anything they post online can be screenshot and shared with unintended recipients, said Tabor.

That means this behavior and lack of privacy online might discourage girls from having vulnerable conversations when they need to, she said.

In previous years, Tabor has done an exercise with her students as part of their social media hygiene practice. She encourages girls to look at their social media feeds and identify posts that make them feel inadequate or negative. Tabor then suggests that they unfollow those accounts.

Adult and School Support for Girls

The ROX 2023 Girls’ Index found that two thirds of all parents rarely or never monitor their children’s use of social media.

According to Hinkelman, it’s important to invest in educating the adults who influence girls’ lives because “being ten today is really different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.” When it comes to support, the girls surveyed indicated that they need adults in their life to listen to them without judgment, said Hinkelman.

Puberty can be an isolating experience, so parents need to make sure that their kids know that everyone experiences some form of puberty, but that one person’s experience may not be the same as someone else’s.

According to Mendle, research shows that girls who know what to expect when it comes to puberty and periods experience less distress after they’ve had their first period. Normalizing conversations about periods and providing opportunities for kids to ask questions is an easy way for parents to help with these expectations, according to Mendle.

While social media and the internet are useful tools to gather information about periods, girls continue to report that their parents are the people that they rely on the most for their information. “But it’s undeniable that kids today are navigating a very, very different world socially and technologically than when a lot of the foundational research on puberty was first done,” said Mendle. Parents can offer to look up information online about periods and puberty with their kids to help them determine accurate and reliable resources.

Asking questions is a normal part of puberty, said Mendle, but young people aren’t as informed as they should be when it comes to this transitional life experience. It’s important for adults to be aware of the impacts that the school environment can have on a student’s experience of puberty, she continued. Reminding kids that puberty isn’t only a physical transition, but can also affect relationships and friendships can help students better navigate social settings in school.

Self Continuity Throughout Puberty

When kids go through puberty, they often think that everything is entirely different in their lives. And while kids are going through change, there’s a lot that stays the same. According to Mendle, young people need to be made aware of self continuity throughout puberty — the idea that they are the same person before, during and after. The practice of self continuity is “shown to be associated with buffering the psychological impact of puberty,” said Mendle.

Kids might need help connecting threads of their pre- and post-pubescent self, Mendle continued. Parents can help connect these threads by talking to their kids about the similarities and differences between school settings during this four-year transition.