The Return to Ourselves- Listening to Your Body

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Listening to Your Body: Your Body Has Been Talking… Have You Been Listening?

To every Black woman reading these words, 

Before we begin today, I want to ask you for one favor. 

Don’t read this article looking for your sister. Don’t read it thinking about your mother. Don’t read it thinking about your best friend. 

Read it thinking about you. 

Because somewhere along the way, many of us became experts at recognizing everyone else’s pain while becoming strangers to our own. 

So today… 

Can I ask you something? 

When was the last time you stopped long enough to ask yourself, “How am I really doing?” 

Not the answer you give your coworkers. Not the answer you give your children. Not the answer you post on social media. The real answer. 

The one you whisper to yourself when no one else is around. 

Because if I’m honest, I think many of us have become so accustomed to surviving that we don’t even recognize what our bodies have been trying to tell us. Listening to your body begins with noticing the signals you have learned to dismiss.

We’ve learned to push through headaches. Push through exhaustion. Push through heartbreak. Push through grief. Push through disappointment. Push through anxiety. Push through doctor’s appointments we’ve been putting off for months. Push through sleepless nights. Push through being overwhelmed. 

Somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that if we just keep going, eventually we’ll catch up with ourselves. But what if your body isn’t asking you to push harder? What if it’s asking you to finally stop? 

I wonder… 

How many women are reading this article while carrying pain in their shoulders? How many of you are clenching your jaw without even realizing it?

How many of you haven’t taken a full, deep breath all morning? 

How many of you woke up tired after sleeping eight hours? 

How many of you have said, “I’m just getting older,” when deep down you know this isn’t just age? Sometimes what we call aging is actually accumulated stress. 

Sometimes what we call being tired… Is emotional exhaustion. Sometimes what we call “being strong”…Is a nervous system that has forgotten what safety feels like. 

And I think that’s a conversation we don’t have enough in our community. For generations, Black women have been praised for how much we can endure. 

“You’ve got this.” 

“I don’t know how you do it.” 

“You’re so strong.” 

It sounds like a compliment. Until one day you realize…No one has asked if you’re okay in years. Strength became our identity. 

So much so that people stopped checking on us because they assumed we’d figure it out. Even we started believing it. 

We told ourselves: 

“I’ll rest after this project.” 

“I’ll go to the doctor next month.” 

“I’ll deal with my emotions after I get through this season.” 

“I’ll take care of myself after everybody else is okay.” 

But let me ask you something. 

When does “after” finally become “now?” Because if we’re always waiting until everyone else is taken care of, we may spend our entire lives waiting. Listening to your body means making room for your needs in the present, not someday.

I remember talking with women who could tell me every medication their parents take, every allergy their children have, every appointment their spouse needs to remember, every birthday in the family, every bill that’s due, every problem at work. 

But when I asked one simple question… 

“What brings you joy?”

The room became quiet, not because they didn’t want to answer, but because they didn’t know. Think about that for a moment. Some of us know everyone else’s needs by heart. But we’ve forgotten our own. 

Now before you misunderstand me, let me be clear. This isn’t about becoming selfish. This isn’t about abandoning our families. This isn’t about pretending responsibilities don’t exist. 

It’s about recognizing that the woman carrying everyone else also deserves to be cared for. 

Because if your body finally says, “I’ve had enough,” everything you’re trying so hard to hold together begins to shake. 

We’ve seen it happen: 

The woman who ignored her chest pains because she didn’t want to miss work. 

The mother who postponed her own doctor’s appointment because her children came first. I’ve done this myself, and trust me – it doesn’t work out so well in the end; it brings more challenges of something you have to heal from instead of maintaining the body you were gifted. 

The entrepreneur who worked through burnout until her body forced her to stop.The caregiver who poured into everyone else until she had nothing left for herself. 

These aren’t stories of weakness. They’re reminders that we’re human. 

And then I have to ask another question: 

Who taught us that our worth was measured by how much we could carry? Was it our families? Our workplaces? 

Our churches? 

Our culture? 

Or did we simply inherit survival from women who didn’t have the luxury of choosing anything different? 

Here’s what I know. 

Many of the women before us carried impossible burdens because they had to. We honor their sacrifice. But honoring them doesn’t mean repeating everything they endured. 

Healing isn’t dishonoring our ancestors. Healing is making sure the generations after us don’t have to carry what we inherited.

Maybe our grandmothers survived so their granddaughters could finally learn how to live, and perhaps that’s one of the greatest ways we can honor them. 

From My Chair to Yours… 

If I could sit across the table from every Black woman reading this, I’d tell you this… 

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your value by exhausting yourself. And you certainly don’t have to break yourself just because everyone has become accustomed to watching you survive. 

The Bible and other religious writings remind us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Notice something. 

A temple isn’t neglected. 

A temple isn’t abused. 

A temple isn’t only visited when something is broken. 

A temple is cared for. 

Respected. 

Protected. 

Honored. 

So why have we become so comfortable treating our bodies like machines instead of sacred spaces? Listening to your body is one way to honor the sacred space God entrusted to you.

If God entrusted you with this body, could caring for it actually be an act of worship? Not vanity. 

Not selfishness. 

Stewardship. 

Maybe resting isn’t quitting; maybe saying no isn’t failing. 

Maybe going to therapy isn’t a weakness. 

Maybe asking for help isn’t a lack of faith. 

Maybe drinking more water, taking the walk, keeping the doctor’s appointment, eating the meal, turning off the phone, taking the nap, and crying the tears you’ve been holding back…

Is one way of saying: 

“God, thank You for this body. I want to care for what You’ve entrusted to me.” 

I don’t know what your body has been trying to tell you, but I hope after today, you’ll stop long enough to listen. Listening to your body may be the first step toward the healing, rest, and care you deserve.

Because your body has been whispering for a long time. 

Let’s not wait until it has to scream, because it’s not screaming from something that happened overnight; it’s screaming from years of neglect. 

Reflection: 

• What has my body been trying to tell me that I’ve been ignoring? 
• Where have I mistaken survival for strength? 
• What is one act of care I can offer myself this week without feeling guilty?
• If I treated my body as something sacred instead of something expected to perform, what would change? 

Healing Invitation 

This week, before you ask anyone else what they need, ask yourself one simple question every morning: 

“What do I need today?” 

Then honor at least one answer. Not because you’ve earned it. Because you’re worthy of it. From My Chair to Yours… 

If I could sit across the table from every Black woman reading this, I’d tell you this… 

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your value by exhausting yourself. And you certainly don’t have to break yourself just because everyone has become accustomed to watching you survive. 

P.S. You Don’t Have to Heal Alone. I’ve walked this road too. Let me show you what I’ve learned. 

If this conversation spoke to your heart, let it be the beginning of your healing journey. 

Through The Sacred Rebuild, we create healing circles, community events, retreats, workshops, and collaborative experiences that remind us we were never meant to heal alone. Whether you’re seeking individual guidance, a group experience, or a speaker for your organization, there is a place for you here.

Connect with The Sacred Rebuild

Stacey Lynelle

Founder, The Sacred Rebuild

Email: thesacredrebuild@gmail.com

Phone/Text: 410-800-7814

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“Your healing matters. Your story matters. And you deserve a life that feels as whole as the one God intended for you.”

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Read more of The Sacred Rebuild By Stacey Lynelle.

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