Faith & Reflection: Voices from the Black Church and Beyond
- The tongue can both bless and curse; heed James warning about its destructive, restless power.
- Speech either builds up or tears down; Solomon contrasts righteous words as life-giving and foolish words as ruinous.
- Prudence matters: restrain lips, think first, speak valuable words that feed others' growth, as in Proverbs.
- You have a choice: choose wisdom and love in speech; ask the Holy Spirit and Lord for help to guard your tongue.
“Watch your mouth, young man!” said the mother to her son. Or maybe you had your mother, like mine, say this to you: “I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap,” and she did. Our mouths can get us into a heap of trouble.
In speaking about teachers, James tells how they will be judged by stricter standards because of the weight of their words. He then goes on to say this about the tongue.
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:6-10 ESV)
The difficulties of taming the tongue are nothing new, and I imagine, with the help of the Holy Spirit, James gained his wisdom on the matter from what we read today in Proverbs. Long before James, Solomon had something to say about the tongue as well.
Building up or tearing down? That is the question
In the tenth chapter of Proverbs, Solomon lays out the contrasting results between godly and wicked speech.
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense. The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near. A rich man’s wealth is his strong city; the poverty of the poor is their ruin. The wage of the righteous leads to life, the gain of the wicked to sin. Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray. The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. (Proverbs 10:11-21, emphasis added)
There is a founding principle in all speech. We speak out of love or hatred. Words spoken out of hatred stir things up and lead to strife. Think about those who agitate a crowd with their words. You see it in their faces and hear it in their tone of voice. There is often yelling, as they try to speak over others.
Words spoken out of love are the complete opposite. They cover offenses, protecting the person and forgiving the wrong. They are words of reconciliation and compassion. The person who speaks out of love sees the person over the offense taken and strives to make it right. The one speaking out of hatred sees only the offense and disregards the person.
The prudent person versus the imprudent
As we saw with wisdom, prudence is a key characteristic. This goes for our speech as well. When we act with prudence, we take the time to understand the situation before we speak, and we consider the consequences.
As found in these verses, the prudent speaker restrains his lips—a challenge on a good day—but possible when we think before we speak. The prudent also speaks valuable words, like choice silver, as Solomon says. Do our words have value? Do we add value to conversations or speak things that no one cares about or will remember?
The words of the prudent also help others. Solomon says they feed many. This means our words are beneficial to the growth of those who hear us. Again, are we building others up or tearing down? Do my words help them work through their questions or problems or add to their troubles?
The imprudent is the person who speaks before they think. They lack sense, as Solomon says, because they are not searching first for understanding but “winging it” or “spitballing”, as we say in the South. Their words are not based on a desire to help their fellow man but out of anger over a situation. They don’t care if they tear everything down to get their point across. Consequences have no significance or impact on what they say.
Because the imprudent do not care about people, they easily slander others and bring them down with them. Their words are many. They talk a lot, which leads to confusion and added misunderstanding to those who hear. In the end, their words are worthless and benefit no one. They wanted to state their case and did so as loudly as possible; they don’t care who was hurt by their comments or even about the final outcome.
You have a choice
The effects of our language are clear. It is left to us to choose how we will use our tongues. Will it be with wisdom and restraint or with foolishness and recklessness? Will our words help and build up others or cause chaos and despair?
Help us, Oh Lord, to be prudent and guard our tongues.
Grace and Peace
If you missed the last Friday Focus post, click HERE, or start this Walking in Wisdom series from the beginning.
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