Faith & Reflection: Voices from the Black Church and Beyond
12/?/ 13 – 7/21/25 written morning after her death 22nd
Purple and scarlet
orange flames
lemon and gold
lavender blue
cobalt hues
we are
dogs,
bees, bears,
butterflies,
hummingbirds too
Innocence seeking
a place
we once knew…
Grief pulled us down
into an old familiar
place. Darkness reigned
hopelessness too.
All we had was each other
At Hecate’s Crossroad
she couldn’t let go
and either could I
Lucy was my dog
you see
A ‘familiar’
just like me.
I couldn’t read her.
Forced to make
the decision
for us both
I let her go…
When we lay together
that one last time
nestled under
a purple shroud
she breathed
Feathers of Light
a Tree circle
marks her grave
Earth took her in
roots, soil, leaves
Hemlock
holds
her body
like
I once did.
Between North and East
Bear Medicine flowed
through a crack
in the Round…
Rising
on the wings
of cool green lights
she lives …
Firefly Nights.
7/27 (the night I bring Coal home)
I am walking on the top of a mountain on a path. It’s summer and I feel something but can’t name it- wild ‘black eyed’ daises (first wrote daises) then black eyed susans are all around me… I have a good feeling.
A break and then there is a rainbow or rainbows that appear.
Only on the 29th, the third morning since Coal arrived do I get the meaning of this dream. Lucy has gone wild too! She has crossed that rainbow bridge (always hated that people turned that bridge made of air into a sign of another kind…) She’s a firefly, a daisy, a black eyed susan – a wildflower with shining black eyes and suddenly the poem comes to life – those black eyes are My Lucy’s, it’s the height of mid -summer, my summer garden is a riot of raging color – wild bee balm – lilies – black eyed susans, astilbe, phlox, on and on, the wheel is turning and it’s time to begin again….Amazing how plants speak and nurture – more unconditional love… returning us all to the beginning of life.
7/30 – early morning – unbearable heat – humidity – I wake up feeling that both Lucy and Hope have helped me make this time traveling transition. I am still trying to catch up with this time traveling week – I have been living outside of time as we experience it -I suspect the way time really behaves … Lucy is fine too and has made whatever transition she needed to make – from firefly to flower to all of nature just as the poem suggests in the beginning –– and has given me the sign that all is well – so I can let her go too.
(I have this mountain dream on the morning I go to get Coal…. when I felt so so sad about losing Lucy – we only had five weeks to live our whole lives together as one being – I felt her eyes but awareness had not struck). But the night before that I dreamed about a plant being an Earth Star with one star inscribed within the other – that dream I got immediately – it was just right to get Coal – but the sadness lingered…I still didn’t believe that Lucy was really all right.
This morning, I wept in gratitude after yesterday’s illumination because both of my little girls are just fine – and the story was meant to continue with Coal – the next RIGHT DOG, who sleeps besides me and chirps like a bird. I can feel nothing but gratitude for both my dead dogs and for Lily b who convinced me Coal’s name was right with loud croaks.
My dogs both helped me so much (and so have the plants) after their deaths each in her own way. Hope with her swallowtails, Lucy breathing feathers of light as I held her for the last time hours after her death. Firefly nights that started with a glowworm and then cool lights blinking around her grave culminated in this final endorsement – by becoming wild – a part of all there is – Lucy set me free too. Lily b is still very much with me, and he endorsed Coal’s name!
This is such a fantastic story that writing it down still astonishes and bewilders me.
I am hopelessly stuck in my head when liminal space opens, and my poor mind-body just can’t keep up…
I’ve known it feels like forever that physical death is not the end, but the doubter is still very much alive and needs to ground these encounters with words to cement what I have already experienced. I hope this story will touch others on a heart level – helping them too.
My experiences are just mine and other stories will be different but as my beloved dead brother told me last year one night when I was compelled to walk outside and a firefly came towards me… “life and death are one” he said, as the hair rose on my arms…
The GREAT ROUND just is, and it is no surprise to me that I am writing all this down at the Turning… We are entering Grandmother Time as we celebrate this Nature’s summer abundance – “The Feast of the New Grain” is upon us…
Blessed Be.
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