Ask Margar-etiquette about Networking Anxiety

Dear Margar-etiquette,

I know networking is important for business, but I’m not comfortable walking up to strangers and introducing myself. How can I make networking feel less awkward and more natural?

Shy but Ambitious

Dear Shy but Ambitious,

Ah, networking—that word alone can make people picture awkward mixers, rubbery appetizers, and forced small talk. But at its heart, networking isn’t about collecting business cards or delivering a flawless elevator pitch. It’s about building genuine relationships. Think quality over quantity.

Here are some ways to make networking more comfortable—and much more effective:

1. Shift your mindset.
Instead of approaching an event thinking, What can I get out of this?, ask yourself, Whom can I help today? People respond warmly when they feel you’re genuinely interested in them, not just their contacts list.

2. Start beyond the business card.
Resist opening with “So, what do you do?” Non-work questions often spark a better connection and make conversations more memorable. Try:

• “What brought you to this event?”
• “Have you tried the dessert table yet?”
• “Have you read or watched anything great lately?”
• “What’s your favorite way to spend a Saturday?”

Once you’ve established an easy flow, segueing into professional topics feels natural rather than forced.

3. Listen like you mean it.
Good networkers are great listeners. Maintain eye contact, nod, and respond to what they say. It shows you value their time and insight.

4. Make the follow-up easy.
If you click with someone, connect within 48 hours. Send a short message saying you enjoyed meeting them, reference something you discussed, and suggest a casual coffee or phone chat.

5. Build bridges, not just ladders.
Your network will grow stronger if you introduce people who might benefit from knowing each other. It’s a gift that often comes back to you in unexpected ways.

Networking is less about working the room and more about tending the garden—planting seeds, nurturing connections, and letting them grow over time. Keep your focus on relationships, and the business benefits will follow naturally.

With courtesy as your compass,
Margar-etiquette