Overcoming Regret: Finding Joy in Your Mission Journey

We’ve all experienced regret—that feeling of sorrow, disappointment, distress, or remorse about things we wish could have been different. As a parent, we often look back and regret not having done this or avoided that in the raising of our children. When we sin against God, we regret that harsh word, bad attitude, or open rebellion. As fallible human beings, regret is a natural response to our perceived shortcomings and weaknesses.

What about those serving in cross-cultural or overseas missions? Do we regret missed opportunities, avoidance of risk, and not putting more effort into language learning? Yes, all this and more. Regret is natural and a reminder that we are not perfect and often fail to meet our own expectations, not to mention God’s. But what about when we have to move, relocate to another country due to circumstances out of our control? What happens when we must leave the field because of a family emergency or issues with aging parents? How do we handle the regret that nags in our hearts and minds, pulling us toward depression and doubt?

Give it to the Lord

Whether from external circumstances or because of choices we made, regret is an emotion that Satan loves to latch onto in his quest to distance us from God. For this reason, we must begin by voicing any and all regret to the Lord. Think David and the psalms. There are very few emotions that David did not share with his Heavenly Father. Without voicing this feeling, regret builds a home in our minds and leads us down the path of inadequacy. This has happened in my life, and I can never be good enough for any future ministry, no matter where I live. I become despondent and lose all sense of usefulness for the Kingdom of God.

Acknowledging regret is the first step toward restoring trust in God’s will for my life and my usefulness to His purposes. Though I am years removed from my time in overseas service, I still hear a missionary speak or watch a video calling laborers to the harvest fields, and I miss not being there. That longing never changes, because we know the reality of the need. People need the Lord, and the call to make disciples of all nations never changes. What does change is my part. I can’t be on the field now, for whatever reason, but that doesn’t mean the Lord is not using me where I am today. I have to remind myself of this truth when the emotion of regret rises up in my mind. I have to give it back to the Lord every time.

Be thankful for the opportunities you’ve had

When we know that regret is a natural response to missionary talks, videos, and mission campaigns, we can temper the edge with gratitude. Remembering that it’s because you’ve served and know the needs first-hand, you can be grateful that the feeling never leaves—in a good way. That pricking of regret can turn into a stronger prayer life for the nations and a thankfulness that God has given you insights into the needs of visiting missionaries. A grateful heart leads to action on behalf of others.

What can I do today to bless the missionaries who visit my church? How can I give to help a ministry? Can God use me on a short-term team either in my city or abroad? Can I teach missions in my church to adults or children? Be thankful that you may be the only person in your church who understands life on the field and can fan the flame of missions there now. God gave you that experience for a purpose, and it is not just for those you served at the time, but for future opportunities to speak into the lives of others or encourage prayer for missions. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy.

Don’t let regret steal the joy of service in this season of life

Regret can be the quickest way to shut down effectiveness for the Kingdom. When we’re only thinking of what we’re missing “back there” or “over there,” we’re not seeing the opportunities God is giving us here and now. You may be the only person in your new workplace who has lived overseas. You may be the only one around who speaks the language needed by crisis counselors or police responding to domestic disputes. Open your eyes to see how He wants to use you in this new place and season.

When we’re stuck in a place of regret, we also miss growth opportunities. Perhaps it’s been a long time since you’ve been in a regular Bible study setting, and your love for the Word has grown cold. Maybe the Lord wants you to think about an educational opportunity that He can use for later job openings overseas. Press into learning, whatever the form may be, so you can continue to grow in your walk with the Lord and effectiveness for His purposes.

The Apostle Paul had many “seasons” of life in prison or “between stops” in his missionary journeys. Often, he used these times to write letters to encourage the believers left behind. He also trained up new leaders to continue the work when he was no longer able. Instead of sitting in regret, ask the Lord if He wants you to continue to support and encourage those you left behind or train up someone to do what you’ve been doing. My years on the mission field gave me a unique perspective on missions and life among Muslims. Since leaving the field, my time has been used in writing this blog and books to encourage a new generation of workers. My call hasn’t changed—how I carry it out has.

Find blessings replacing regret as you take your emotions to God, thank Him for all He’s allowed you to see, do, and experience in the harvest fields, and anticipate what He wants to continue to do in and through you in the years ahead.

Grace and Peace

If you missed the last Mission Monday post, click HERE, or check out these other posts on regret: Binge Remorse, When Looking Back is Painful, Working While We Can, and Are You Still Grateful?